Afterlife
by Liisiko
Summary: Galen died thinking that would be the end. It wasn't, but finding a way back to the land of the living won't be easy. Meanwhile, Juno struggles to carry on without him. Is there any hope for either of them? Or are they both lost souls? Takes place between the first and second games. Slightly AU. Galen/Juno pairing.
1. Chapter 1

**Hello, it's time for another project. I'm not entirely sure what inspired this, but I hope you like it.**

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><p>It was strange how someone could long for something and yet, at the same time, fear it more than anything else.<p>

On one hand, Kento and Mallie wanted more than anything to see their son again.

On the other hand, they knew what seeing him would mean. That his luck had finally run out, that somehow, somewhere his short life had finally come to an end. Galen was dead.

"Maybe we were wrong." She said, more to herself than anyone else. "Maybe he survived." As much as she may have wished otherwise she knows that this isn't the case.

Kento shook his head. He doesn't believe that anymore than she does. There are some things the dead can always sense. The impending arrival of someone they had known in life was one of them.

Mallie wondered if there was anything left of the child they knew in the man he had become. She really hadn't seen her son since he was a toddler; barely able to form words. Kento had raised the boy for a few years longer, but not much. The occasional glimpses of him they have had over the years in visions were not encouraging. His struggle to survive and descent into darkness had been painful to watch. Only recently had there been any reason to hope and now even that hope was gone.

They had tried so hard to keep Galen safe, to give him some sort of future. One that didn't involve constant war.

Life has a way of never turning out how you expect it to.

She had never thought she would fall in love, and certainly she had never envisioned herself running away from the Order she had served her whole life, pregnant and with no plans beyond: 'find somewhere safe'.

That hadn't worked out either.

"How do we want to handle this?" Kento asked, pulling her out of her thoughts.

"I don't know. You knew him longer than I did." She squeezed his hand reassuringly.

He was silent for a moment, as if carefully considering his options. "I'll try to talk to him first, maybe. There's no predicting how he'll react to any of this."

"Go ahead." She had never been much for words anyway. If Kento thought he had a better chance of reaching their child she was more than willing to let him try.

There was no point lingering on things that couldn't be fixed. The past was the past, well beyond repair. They had been unable to save their son in the past. As much as they may wish otherwise, there was no changing that. All that really mattered was the future, uncertain though it was.

So, for now, they would wait and see what the future brought. Good or bad, it was time to see what had become of their son.

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><p>An individual's preconceived notions about reality have a great effect on what their mind can and cannot comprehend. The strange and unfamiliar landscape of the lands where the dead walked were translated into something the mind could recognize and understand.<p>

No one saw that realm in quite the same way, but for Galen there was a forest of tall trees and a dense fog that made it hard to discern any detail of his surroundings except for a narrow path through the wood which was clear enough. Shadowy figures darted between the trees, just far enough away that he couldn't see them clearly. He didn't sense any overt danger from them; if anything they seemed curious rather than hostile. All the same, he had the feeling that he didn't want to leave the path.

Galen glanced down, trying to think. How he had ended up on this path he couldn't remember. He forced himself to think back farther, memories crowding in quickly to fill the void.

_Deciding that the lives of others meant more to him than personal vengeance..._

_Drawing in more power than he ever had before. Determined not to allow any harm to come to those he defended... _

_Falling to the ground, drained and broken, darkness closing in... _

_Not caring, because he knew that his death meant Juno's escape. The only thing that had mattered to him in those last moments..._

Galen shook his head, trying to clear his mind of the memories and focus on the present. He kept walking; the movement helping him think.

Now, he looked the same as he had the morning before the meeting on Corellia. Which, while not even two days before, still felt like a lifetime ago. Nothing out of place. Not a mark on him anywhere. His clothing -the same thing he had been wearing during the assault- was also undamaged.

He felt fine too. No pain, no tiredness, nothing to indicate he had just been on the losing side of a fight to the death.

All of this was so very wrong.

He walked for a long time. Uncertain where he was going or even _why_ he was going there. There were others on the pathway. Ghostly and indistinct, as insubstantial as the shadows between the trees. Every once in a while one would stop and vanish as if they had reached their destination.

Wherever that was.

Years of caution made him long for a weapon to hold. Somehow, he doubted that one would do him any good here, but he would have felt better to know it was available. He vaguely remembered his saber falling from limp fingers as the last of his fading strength left him in one final surge. Had that last desperate move worked? Were Juno and the others safe?

He could accept whatever lay ahead if the answer was yes.

There were no answers yet. Just more fog and uncertainty.

He picked up his pace slightly, not wanting to be out in this unnatural fog any longer than necessary. Just because he couldn't sense danger didn't mean he was safe. One of his earliest lessons was that there was no such thing as safety.

Not for him, anyway.

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><p>Eventually the path came to an end and Galen found himself in a clearing. The thick fog had been pushed back to the edges and the lurking shadows were nowhere to be seen. Instead, two figures -solid and real looking- stood as if they had been waiting for him outside a small structure that was hauntingly familiar. He had only seen it twice before. Once in a vision and again as a very real ruin.<p>

That ruin had been home once. His home. His family's home.

Not that any of that mattered. It was the two standing outside that caught his attention. He didn't recognize the woman -although she was vaguely familiar somehow- tall and lean, with short brown hair. But the man? Yes, he'd seen him before. In the ruin that had been home once. Features similar to his own, but older and with less of the gaunt, desperate edge that he possessed. The older man radiated a deep sense of calm, inner strength Galen knew he would never have.

This man was his father and he could guess well enough who the woman was.

Galen approached cautiously, unsure if he was even welcome here and wary that this was some sort of trap. He had so much to answer for. He had let his past, his memory of two he stood before, his very _identity_ slip away from him. He had done horrible things in the service of his former master. He couldn't see how anyone would ever be willing to forgive such things.

"Galen?" His father ventured cautiously.

"I'm dead aren't I?" He said abruptly. Maybe not the best way to open a conversation with a long lost family member, but it was what he had been thinking and one way or another he needed to know.

Besides, subtlety had never been one of his strengths.

"I'm afraid so, son."

Galen had suspected as much. There weren't many other alternatives he could think of. His dreams were much more straightforward -even when they were nightmares that made him wake in a cold sweat; biting back a scream.

"So what now?" he asked, half expecting to be turned away in disgust.

"That depends. What do you want?"

It wasn't a question he had heard often. There had been only one person who had ever asked that question and truly cared about the answer. "I..." Galen swallowed and looked down, totally at a loss for words. "I don't know."

Kento put a hand on his son's shoulder, sensing his distress and trying to offer some comfort and reassurance. The simple gesture was met with unexpected violence. Galen reacted instinctively, knocking the hand aside and taking a step back with surprising speed.

Kento took a step back as well, not wanting to push too hard. "Calm down, Galen. Neither of us is going to hurt you."

"Is that what you think? That I'm afraid of you?" He said, feeling a surge of irrational anger. He had asked Juno that very same question once not so long ago.

Her answer had been that he was afraid to let anyone try and help him.

Now, seeing his parent's concerned looks, he had to admit that she may have had a point. For the longest time he had refused to let anyone in. He kept to himself out of habit as much as necessity, but he kept others at a distance with good reason.

"No." Kento answered, pulling Galen out of his thoughts. "I'm guessing that there isn't much that scares you."

Anger drained away, replaced by embarrassment. Getting angry wouldn't help him now. He needed to think before he reacted. Now more than ever. "Sorry, this is just...a lot to take in. I need a moment to think."

"Take your time." He retreated little farther, giving Galen some space. "Your mother and I will be inside when you're ready to talk."

He nodded absently in acknowledgment and watched them retreat, trying to sort out his thoughts. Had he disappointed them? Did they already know what he had done? If not, would they still want him around if they knew? There were no clear answers to any of that. But all of that fell someway behind bigger concerns. What was going on? Where was he? And what was he going to do anyway? Dead? Really?

Dead.

The truth of the statement hit him hard. All he had ever been. All he ever would be. Gone now. Like him.

Dead.

Galen could sense that the other man had told him the truth. On a gut level he had suspected as much before he had ever asked the question, before even he had dared think the word to himself.

Which didn't make things any better really. What he needed now was some answers.

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><p>"That did not go well." Mallie admitted once they were out of earshot.<p>

"Truthfully that isn't surprising, but I didn't expect him to have such a strong aversion to physical contact. Hopefully, that wasn't too big of a misstep." Kento said as she sat down and he began to pace, trying to focus his deliberations. "What do you think?"

"I was expecting a little more fear and confusion about this. Most usually are at first, but he was remarkably detached until he felt cornered." She replied.

"Something is wrong, and it isn't just his reaction. He seems..."

"Disconnected somehow? Lost?" She suggested, finishing his sentence.

"Exactly. It's more than just being stuck in between like us."

"Well, we know why we stayed, but what holds him here?" She asked. That was the important question. Any other oddity could wait till later to be addressed.

"So, something happened with me that wasn't supposed to?" Galen said suddenly from behind them.

They both tensed immediately. It was actually a little unnerving to see how the boy had approached in total silence without either of them being able to sense a thing. He was undoubtedly skilled in the arts of stealth and had no reservations about putting that talent to use.

"I'm sorry, Galen. I didn't hear you come in." Mallie replied, working to keep her voice even.

"I didn't want to be heard." He stated matter-of-factly. "Now, are you going to explain what's wrong with me, or should I just leave so you can talk behind my back some more?"

"Galen-" His father started to say.

"No! I want to know what's happening to me. If you can't or won't explain, then I'll just leave and figure it out on my own."

Neither of them wanted that. To see Galen again after so long, only to have him turn away in frustration and anger. This was too soon, too new. If they lost him now they might not ever get another chance.

No. They couldn't do that. Couldn't lose him.

Not again.

"I suppose you do need an explanation, but keep in mind there is still so much we don't know. Some of this is just guess work" Mallie said.

"Fine. Something is better than nothing." Galen folded his arms and leaned back against the wall.

"What did you believe happened after death?" She asked.

"I never gave it much thought. Too busy just trying to stay alive to worry about what may or may not come after." He had been well schooled in the ways of the dark side, but had received little in the way of any spiritual teachings. As far as his former master was concerned, he didn't need to know any of that to hold a blade or fire lightning from his hands.

She took a deep breath before she began. "Usually, when someone passes on, their soul or spirit -or whatever label people chose to give the part of themselves that lives on after death- rejoins the force."

"And that isn't what happened here?" Galen guessed, remembering what he had overheard earlier.

"Exactly." Kento said.

"Then where are we?" he asked, gesturing at the tiny hut the stood in.

"Somewhere in between."

"In between where?" Galen said, trying to keep his irritation concealed. There was no point getting angry -it wouldn't help and might just make things worse- but anger was still his first response to stress. It was better than giving in to fear. Anger at least, had its uses.

"Between life and death. Everywhere and nowhere." She said.

"That is...really unhelpful."

"I'm sorry, son, but there isn't really any other way to explain it." She said gently.

"No. I think I understand what you mean. But what is _this_ place specifically? It looks like..." He trailed off, unsure if his long faded memory was anywhere near accurate in this regard.

"The hut we lived in when you were a child?"

Exactly what he had been thinking. "Uh...yeah. Why is that?"

"Everything you will find here is made up of someone's memory or imagination."

"So, you made this out of your memories?"

"Yes. I can show you how to construct something later if you like." Kento offered. He wasn't sure if the boy would accept the offer. Galen was so closed off and suspicious, which in all honesty wasn't surprising, but it still made him sad to see it.

"That might be a good idea. If I'm stuck here I may as well figure out what I'm doing."

Cautiously offered, even more cautiously accepted. More trust than they could ever have hoped for.

It wasn't much, but it was a start.

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><p><strong>I had initially planned this as just another one shot, but the story just kept growing. How long it will be before the end I don't know, but I do intend to finish this. How long will that take? No idea, but it will get done.<strong>

**Special thanks to MarshMella for being willing to beta this and discuss things even though she is busy with her own huge TFU related project. Thanks also to From Pen to Paper for her excellent advice and letting me bounce ideas off her when she has also been so busy. With out them this would still be just a bunch of loosely related fragments sitting around in my story folder.**

**Please leave a review. I'm a little unsure about this story and I could really use some input.**

**Thanks for reading. **


	2. Chapter 2

**Thank you to everyone who reviewed this story. I hope you like the next chapter.**

**And thank you again to my excellent beta MarshMella for all her help with getting this organized.**

**Everyone knows I own nothing. I'm just playing with other peoples toys for a moment.**

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><p>The initial pain of losing a loved one was hard. Picking up the pieces afterwords was worse. Arrangements to be made, things to be sorted through, and all the other messy little details that needed tending to when one wanted to do was sit and cry.<p>

It all added up to an unbearable mess, but bear it Juno did.

There was no body to lay to rest. She hadn't even known that he hadn't made it back to the ship until they were well away. Juno didn't know if she was grateful for that reprieve or not. It would have been a thousand times harder to leave if she had known it meant abandoning him. There had been no choice but to leave what remained of Galen behind during their escape. She couldn't have endured being the one to organize all of the final arrangements for that. Since she was the only one who had really known him it would have fallen to her.

In the first few days after the event, there had been so many questions about him. Questions she had no answers for. Ultimately, all she really knew about his history was the name he had finally shared with her not long before the end. Searching through a lot of the old archives had pieced together a little of his early history and, with Bail's help, they had dug up more then Galen had ever said. Maybe even more than even Galen had known about himself.

Galen Marek. At least they were fairly certain that Marek was his surname. Born somewhere on Kashyyyk shortly before order 66, exactly when and why his family had taken refuge there they had been unable to ascertain.

Although they were unable to confirm it, his father was probably Kento Marek; a Jedi who had left the order not long before Galen would have been born, citing 'personal reasons'. A woman named Mallie had left at the same time also claiming 'personal reasons'. It wasn't hard to connect the dots there.

For a time they disappeared completely from any records before both Kento and Mallie were reported dead on Kashyyyk sometime later, several years apart.

Mallie; attacked whilst trying to stop a slave raid on a small village. The slavers eventually overwhelmed and killed her, cashing in the substantial bounty, as she was still a known fugitive. Still, their win hadn't come easily. Listed dead along with her were more than half of the slavers who had been involved in the raid.

Kento was killed a few years later during an assault on the planet. Apparently Vader had dealt with the fugitive personally. This, as far as they could tell, was how Galen had come to his attention.

What had befallen the boy after that they knew well enough. PROXY had spoken with disarming openness about the years of torture and abuse that had followed Galen's capture. She had made herself listen. It had hurt, but someone needed to know, to remember. Especially since it was increasingly unlikely that anyone else ever would.

The Senators had debated long and hard about what should be made publicly known to the new rebellion. There were certain facts about Galen that if discovered could destabilize the movement all together if word got out. No one wanted it known that their hero had intended to betray them. Even if he had changed his mind at the last moment and given his life correcting that error in judgment it was still a betrayal of unimaginable proportions.

While the debate was far from over it was still looking like the whole story would never be known outside the small circle of people who had witnessed it firsthand. Better, they thought, that the truth behind their mysterious hero remain hidden.

Juno believed that Galen deserved better than to be forgotten like that, but truthfully, she knew that he wouldn't have cared. He had been a closed off, intensely private person in life. Even if he had lived he would have avoided the spotlight as much as possible. Still, it made her angry to think that in all likelihood the only remnant of his legacy would be the symbol they rallied behind.

No, that wasn't entirely true. As long as she lived and fought there would still be one more remnant of his legacy.

She would remember, because someone needed to.

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><p>"I know it seems difficult in principle, but you've already done this."<p>

"When?" Galen replied irritably.

They had been working on this for hours without any luck so far. He was facing a blank space of wall in the hut, trying a basic exercise in thought constructs.

Kento poked him in the chest. "That body feels real right?"

"Yeah, I feel pretty much the same as I always have."

"That is because you know how your body feels, how it looks. You know this so well that you take it as a matter of fact that it exists. You don't even need to think about it."

"Is that why you told me to start with someplace I know well?"

"Precisely. The better you know something the easier it is to will it into existence." Kento looked him up and down worriedly. "Maybe that's enough for today."

"No." Galen wasn't about to give up now.

"Alright, one more try. First, you must still your mind to focus on that which you are trying to create. Take a deep breath and try to let all your concerns-"

"I know how to do that, thank you." Galen snapped. It wasn't easy for him, but he did have the mental discipline to do this. Eventually.

If Kento was bothered by this he gave no outward sign."No need to get so upset, boy. You don't have to lash out at everyone you meet."

Galen looked away, suppressing a surge of annoyance and embarrassment. He didn't normally give a second thought to what anyone thought of him. He had never needed anyone's approval, but he didn't want to mess this up. This was all he had left and until he sorted things out he had nowhere else to go.

After giving the younger man a moment to gather his thoughts, Kento continued. "I don't know much about your skills or training, so I assumed it was best to start at the beginning."

Galen hadn't shared any of his history with them, not even how he had ended up dead. He could tell they were curious and he had no idea how much they knew -or had guessed- about his life, but he still couldn't bring himself to tell them the story. Not yet anyway.

"My training could be summed up as 'learn or die'. That's all. But I know how to empty my mind and concentrate."

"Then shall we try again?"

Galen closed his eyes and tried again to still his mind as he had been instructed to do. It wasn't easy. He hadn't been lying when he told Kento he knew what he was doing, but usually, when he had done this, the next step had been to draw on his anger and sink into the dark side. It was holding back from that next step that made things difficult. Especially since the lack of results was starting to frustrate him, and that only made the problem worse.

"Good. Now visualize the space you want to form. Build up every last detail in your mind until it almost feels real."

Galen pictured his meditation chamber aboard the Rogue Shadow. That ship had been more of a home to him that anywhere else he could remember. If there was any place he knew well enough to recreate in this thoughts it was there.

"You have it?" Kento asked.

Galen nodded. It was taking up most of his attention to hold that image in his mind.

"Good. Now reach out and make it real. Impose your image on the space before you."

It was harder than it sounded. At first nothing happened, but finally something gave and he felt a slight shift in the Force.

Encouraged by that slight change, he pushed harder; adding more and more layers to the memory. The feel of the durasteel plating that made up the floor beneath his feet. The temperature of the air -always slightly colder than the rest of the ship-, the barely audible hiss the door made as it opened. Everything he could remember building up and up until a light tap on his shoulder broke his concentration.

Galen opened his eyes and took a step back, feeling a little dizzy from the strain involved in the unusual exertion. But a moment later he smiled slightly as he saw the familiar metal door set in the wooden wall before him.

"Very good, you learn quickly."

Galen nodded, unsure how to accept the praise. It was something he rarely heard. In his experience the closest thing to a reward one received for a job well done was not being punished for failure.

"Thanks." He said finally. That was what he should say, right?

Kento likely sensed his unease, because he let the matter drop without another word.

Seeking to change the subject, Galen cast around for something - anything - to say and break the silence.

"So, where's..." He trailed off. That topic wasn't any better, really. He still wasn't sure what to call them exactly. Mallie and Kento? Mother and Father? He hadn't asked and they hadn't told him, but it was simple enough to avoid using names in conversation. Most of the time.

"Your mother?" Kento guessed. "She had something to do today and thought you might like a little space anyway. Like you, she can be a little withdrawn at times."

Galen had noticed that, but hadn't made an issue out of it. Considering his own attitude he was in no position to do so. But he had noticed.

"Do you want to look inside?"

Might as well. "Fine."

The door opened with it's usual faint hiss, letting them in.

"You made this space." Kento continued. "The specific memories that you used are now tied into the chamber's continued existence."

"What does that mean?" Galen asked impatiently.

"Sorry, I never was very good at teaching. I didn't do it much. Umm...maybe this will make more sense. Try to visualize the chamber like you did earlier."

Obediently, he closed his eyes again to repeat the process and found he couldn't. The memory wasn't gone, but it lacked the strength and clarity it had possessed just moments before. It was strangely unnerving.

"I...I can't. I know what it looks like, but when I try to concentrate on the image in my mind it slips away." Galen considered the new information carefully. It sounded far to easy to lose a memory used in that fashion permanently. "I don't like that. It seems like too much of a liability to use so casually. Too easy to put something out there and never get it back."

"Elsewhere it is a substantial risk." Kento replied. "Out in the borderlands things are a lot less stable. The landscape is littered with fragments of thought and memory, their creators long gone or little more than fragments themselves. Most are harmless, but some still have a bit of a bite."

Galen thought of the things he had seen darting between the trees when he first arrived. They hadn't seemed hostile, but his first instinct to stay on the path had proven right.

"Any more questions?"

"None right now." Galen answered distractedly, his mind no longer on the lesson.

He looked around the familiar space disinterestedly. Yes, it was correct down to the last detail, but it still wasn't the same. The real ship and the people he had lived there with he would never see again. At least not while they still lived. That thought sent an unfamiliar pang of loneliness though him.

"Something wrong, boy?" His sudden change in mood had not gone unnoticed.

"Nothing I want to discuss."

"You sure about that?"

"Why do you even care?" The question wasn't just about this, but about all the other unasked for and unnecessary acts of kindness he had been shown. They had offered him a place to stay, taught him what he needed to know to find some answers and -although, nothing had been said about it- done their best to look after him.

"Because you are our son. Because we love you." He said as if the answer were obvious. Maybe it was, not that he had any way of knowing.

Galen looked away. "I don't even remember you. Not much anyway."

Could his father see how hard it was for him to admit that?

"Whatever else may have happened, your mother and I never forgot about you. Never stopped worrying about you. Never stopped caring." Kento's tone of voice left little doubt of the truth of his words.

"I let myself forget everything! You included." Galen yelled, finally letting out his pent up aggression. "Everything that was important to me gone- just gone. Even my name. How could I have done that? I was old enough to remember where I came from. Why didn't I? You know it's still hard to think of myself as someone who has a name? Whenever one of you calls me 'Galen' there's a half second where I don't know who you're talking to before I realize that you're referring to me."

"You did what you had to do to survive. I should have done more to protect you." Years of grief and guilt were behind those words.

"Everything I did was my choice." He stated harshly. "You didn't make me this way. Stop blaming yourself for who I became."

"You were only five years old. You didn't have a choice!"

Galen didn't have an answer for that.

"You did what you had to do." Kento repeated. "What is right and what is necessary aren't always the same thing."

"I would like to be alone for a while." Galen said suddenly, cutting off any further attempts at conversation. "I have a lot to think about."

"There's no rush. Take as long as you need." If Kento was disappointed by the rejection he gave no sign of it. He had almost made it to the door when Galen spoke again.

"Thank you." The words were barely more than a whisper. It was obvious he was speaking of more than the request that was being granted.

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><p>Sorting through his belongings was hardest of all. She had put it off for weeks; telling herself that she would do it the following day or maybe the day after that. Each time backing away from the grim task until there was no more room for excuses.<p>

As much as Juno may have wished otherwise, she couldn't leave his possessions undisturbed. It was hard enough to move on without that task hanging over her head. As if he had just stepped out for a few hours, soon to return with the scent of blood and smoke clinging to him as it always did.

Fortunately, there wasn't much. A small closet full of clothes; still carrying that same blood and smoke scent even after they had been cleaned. Strange that she almost found the smell comforting. Those could be packed away in storage until she could figure out what to do with them.

A few spare parts and tools used for fixing PROXY. The tools she didn't need, -she had her own that were just as good- but the spare parts could be useful. The holo-droid was still malfunctioning after she and Bail had salvaged him a few days before.

A datapad with a few holo-novels and vids stored on it. Most of them were files with information pertaining to various missions he had been on and places they had visited. A few were about standard ship maintenance, something he had been helping her with since they had gone on the run and no longer had the vast resources they once did.

One file was about human social interaction. That brought a faint smile to her face as she remembered how awkward he sometimes was with others. Especially her. Strange that someone with such confidence and strength could be so shy. Admittedly, it shouldn't be a surprise considering how he grew up. Having no one but his cruel master, a homicidal droid, and a revolving door of pilots who never lasted more than a few months on the job for company wouldn't be good for the development of anyone's social skills. Still, the moments when he had tried to reach out and interact with her could be strangely sweet in an awkward sort of way.

She shook her head. There was no point thinking about that. It wouldn't help. He was gone and there was no changing that. With an effort she turned her attention back to the task at hand. Maybe if she got this out of the way things would get easier.

Yeah right, and maybe if she told herself that enough times she would eventually believe it.

No personal effects. No mementos. Nothing to indicate anything about his personality or any life outside his lonely and dangerous apprenticeship. She could guess well enough that such things had not been allowed.

Yet again she was struck by how lonely his life must have been and she had to turn away from the storage crate she was packing. Looking down, she took a deep breath as she tried in vain to hold back tears.

It wasn't fair! Not what he had endured, and not that she was left to pick up the pieces and carry on without him. She wasn't some silly girl, this grief wouldn't break her, but right then this crushing sense of loss felt simply overwhelming.

Eventually the surge of grief eased and she was able to finish her task; packing up the last storage crate worth of belongings without any more drama. The lid closed with a faint click that echoed in the silence of the ship. The sound seemed totally out of proportion with the immense finality of the act.

One life packed neatly away.

It shouldn't be so easy.

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><p><strong>Thanks for reading.<strong>

**Please review. Constructive criticism is both welcome and appreciated.**


	3. Chapter 3

**Hello, again. Thank you to everyone who reviewed, your support means a lot. And another thank you again to MarshMella, my excellent beta. **

**My apologies for having such a slow update pace. Classes and life have a way of eating up free time. **

**Hope you like the next chapter!**

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><p>Not for the first time, Mallie wondered if the sky over their forest clearing was a natural occurrence, or the work of some long gone being who had wanted the comfort of something recognizable overhead. If it was a construct then it was a very good one. It followed a basic day-night cycle like most habitable worlds, and while she wasn't sure, she suspected the timing of the cycle was fairly close to standard.<p>

Whatever the reason she was glad of its existence. It was nice to be able to sit and watch the sunset. Nice to know that despite all the twists and turns life -and unlife- could take some things still went on the same as they always did.

She sensed movement behind her and knew it was Kento. Galen moved differently, more tense, always on edge, and nearly soundless.

"How was your day?" He asked.

"Fine. Ran with a patrol group from Blackspire out to Te'ru-Re. The pathways out there should be clear for a few days at least. What about yours?"

"Well enough I suppose." He sounded calm, but she knew him well enough to sense otherwise.

She silently motioned for him to join her on the steps. With a sigh he complied, settling beside her so that she could lean back against his shoulder. "So are you going to tell me what's wrong, or do I get three guesses?"

"Nothing is wrong."

She didn't believe that for a moment, but kept silent anyway. If he wanted to talk about it he would. There was no forcing the point.

"I started teaching him to construct a basic room." He said finally.

"And that went badly?" Building something, even something small out of nothing but thought, was no easy task. It would be no shock to her if emotions flared. Galen was outwardly rather stoic, but underneath that she had glimpsed hints of a short temper.

"No. That went fine. Better than expected really. It took hours, but he did it."

"Quick study then." Mallie knew from experience that grasping such a lesson so fast was no small feat.

"Yes. Astonishingly so, but I don't like how hard he pushes himself. By the time we finally got somewhere he looked exhausted and didn't even seem to notice. I think he would have kept it up all night if he hadn't succeeded when he did."

Not surprising really. While they didn't know all the details, it was still pretty obvious that he had been abused. Conditioned to enjoy violence and fear failure above all else. Never allowed to stop until he reached his goal. Still, it was one thing to know he had endured years of darkness and pain alone. It was something else altogether to see the emotional scars first hand.

"Where is he now?"

"In his new room, resting hopefully."

For a time they sat in silence, watching the shadows lengthen. Finally, she could bear waiting no longer.

"What is it you aren't telling me?"There was no reproach in her tone, just curiosity.

"He doesn't remember us, or as far as I can tell, anything prior to being taken." He took a deep breath to steady himself. "Which explains a few things, I suppose. We are strangers to him and I doubt he lasted as long as he did without acquiring a healthy sense of caution."

"Of course. No one likes feeling as if they had no control over something. Admitting that such a large part of who he had been was gone must be difficult to say the least." She answered. At this point there would be no telling if he had suppressed those memories on his own in reaction to trauma or if something had been done to make him forget. Not that either answer would be any comfort now. "What are we going to do?"

"I don't know. The only thing we can. Be there for him and wait until he wants to talk."

"Yes, but will he ever want to?"

Neither of them had any answer to that.

Daylight faded and the silence lengthened.

* * *

><p>Where he was, time had little meaning, so Galen wasn't sure just how many days he had avoided thinking of Juno.<p>

Still, there was only so long that he could train, meditate, and awkwardly avoid talking to his parents before all his concerns came crowding back in once again.

What had happened to Juno? Was she safe? Was she doing well, or was she missing him as much as he missed her?

There was no point obsessing over what couldn't be changed. A lifetime of rigid self-discipline said that he should waste no time or energy on something so irrelevant, but there was no silencing his worries. Not even the knowledge that she still lived was much comfort. Alone with his thoughts he kept replaying their time together as he paced restlessly in his chamber. It all circled back to one thing that he had no frame of reference for, no way to process.

She had kissed him.

Why? How could she have ever cared about someone like him? He was a traitor, a liar, a monster. He had willingly done so many horrible things with very little encouragement. What could she have possibly ever seen in him?

What ever she saw must have been something worthwhile.

No. Maybe he was just over thinking things. Maybe all it had been was quick desperate gambit to convince a friend he had something to live for. But that wasn't like her as far as he knew. Whatever else you could say about Juno, she wasn't a liar.

Not to say that she couldn't lie when necessary. He had seen her talk their way out of danger more than a few times during the months they had been searching for Kota. She was way ahead of him in the social skills department and was able to work her way through situations that left him tongue-tied. But despite that skill, she didn't like lying. She was uncomfortable anytime they had to resort to deception.

Whenever possible she preferred to be honest, direct. If she wanted to say something she said it. That had been one thing he found annoying when he first met her. Her job had been to fly the ship, not question his every move. Later, he had come to value that quality. She had gotten him thinking not just about what he was doing, but why he was doing it.

It was probably just something done in the heat of the moment. Letting a doomed man believe that someone out there cared if he lived or died.

No, that didn't fit either. She was a lot of things but impulsive wasn't often one of them. If she did something it was because she had considered it carefully and believed it was the best course of action.

Maybe she really had cared about him?

Maybe even...loved him?

Whether or not she had, Galen knew that he loved her. At least, he thought he did. He had never felt that dizzying mix of fierce protectiveness and confusing attraction for anyone else. Never felt such need to be close to someone.

All that aside, there was one fact that stood clear. She had changed his life, helped him become better person and likely saved him from a far worse fate than the one he'd been handed.

That decided it, if nothing else he owed her for that kindness. Needed to know she was safe. After all, how hard could it be? If it was possible to seek someone or something out with visions when he had lived why not now? No one but him would ever know what he intended. A quick look would go a long way towards putting some of his fears to rest.

As long as she was safe there was nothing he couldn't face.

With that in mind, Galen sat down on the floor of his chamber, breathing slowly, trying to still his racing thoughts.

Breathing, like a lot of other things, wasn't strictly necessary anymore. If one wanted to get technical, he didn't have lungs, or even a body at all, for that matter. But since it felt really strange not to and it helped him order his thoughts, so he did it anyway.

When he had pushed all else aside he reached out for the single mind he sought.

_Juno, where are you?_

He felt the faintest answering flicker. Impossibly distant, but distance -like his urge to breathe- was just another perception of the mind. Or so he told himself.

_Distance means nothing. I can find her. I _will _find her._

He reached out further, straining to span the void between them. Distantly he felt a dull ache in his head, the pain a warning he was pushing himself too hard. But still, he wasn't going to give up. Like distance, pain held no meaning to him now. He shoved it aside and kept going.

Finally, he felt his effort pay off when, suddenly he was no longer in his chamber. Opening his eyes he looked around. It felt like a ship of some kind. The flat, slightly stale taste of endlessly recycled air gave it away. There was a heavy durasteel door in front of him, closed and likely locked.

Was this where Juno was?

No. He had the gut feeling that somehow this wasn't natural.

The room he stood in was strangely familiar, though it took Galen a moment to place where he had seen it before. It looked like the _Empirical_. But that was impossible. He had seen the ship destroyed, set on a crash course with a sun in an uncharted system. Covering all trace of his time there, recovering from the horrific injuries inflicted by his former master.

More importantly, it was where he had rescued Juno from certain death. Defying orders for the first time in his life.

What was going on? This was just the past, not the present. He had reached out to find Juno. To see if she was safe, and he could sense her presence now on the other side of the door. Faint and distant, but unmistakeably her. Something was very wrong, but he was here to find her and refused to leave until he had. It didn't matter what sort of strange place he had fallen into.

Without a second thought he tore open the door, several inches of heavy durasteel crumpling like flimsiplast, and charged through-

And almost ran right into three armored troopers.

He got over the surprise first. Before they could react to his sudden appearance or raise an alarm he brought both hands up and silenced them permanently; blasting them back into the viewport behind them. It broke, sucking them out into the void amid a howling wind and shards of broken transparasteel. A second later and the barrier slid down; sealing the broken viewport.

He stood still for a moment, breathing hard. It was actually a little disturbing how instinctively he had reacted with violence. He had been wanting to do better, but some responses were deeply ingrained. It might take years to overcome that reflex, assuming he could at all.

Still, it was better to be cautious.

Once he was sure there would be no more of them appearing he went on his way. This time with a little more caution, senses straining to detect any hint of Juno or anyone who would try to stop him from reaching her.

He followed the corridors seemingly at random, relying on instinct to guide him. The layout didn't match his memories of the ship exactly, but admittedly he hadn't been paying attention to the structure the first time around.

At first there wasn't much resistance, but slowly more and more troopers started to converge on him, as if drawn by his presence. He dealt with them as he had with the others. Throwing them aside with a thought or shocking them with lightning. After so long feeling trapped and inactive it felt good to move and fight again.

Even if he wasn't entirely sure why this was happening.

When he forced open the next door there was an unpleasant surprise waiting for him. A pair of purge troopers stood guard in the corridor beyond him. Nearly twice his height, with Duranium plating, a wide array of weaponry and magnetic 'feet' keeping them anchored to the floor they were a fearsome sight.

Galen ducked back around the corner, considering his options carefully. He wasn't exactly defenseless, but without a saber he was still at a disadvantage. No deflecting any shots fired at him and unless he got creative fast, no close quarters combat unless he wanted to chance taking a savage beating.

He hated dealing with purge troopers. Whenever he was pushed into a confrontation with one of the behemoths he preferred to deal with them from a distance. There, he could dodge their missiles and stay out of reach, away from their crushing, inhumanly strong grip. Lightning was effective against them to some extent. Assuming of course, that he could keep his distance long enough for it to cripple them. Unfortunately, in the cramped confines of the hallway that might not be possible.

Unless there was another way. If he could build a room out of nothing but memory why not other, more useful things? It was worth a try. They would detect him eventually and he was short on other ideas. Unless...

Although it went against all his instincts to do so he closed his eyes and did his best to tune out everything else and focus. He knew what he wanted. He knew it better than he knew himself. He had assembled and disassembled his lightsaber telekineticly thousands of times. He could clearly visualize every piece of of its intricate construction, its exact weight in his hand, the hum of its blade, the cold metal growing hotter as the battle intensified. It took only the slightest effort of will to hold the image clear in his mind and make it real.

It dropped into his hand with a satisfying weight. He didn't bother to check it over; just thumbed the activator button and stepped back into view, unable to hide a slight smirk. There was no way he was heading for an easy fight, but it was good to be back on familiar ground once again.

* * *

><p>Sometime later he approached another large door, wondering how much farther he had to go. It felt like he had been fighting for hours, which honestly might not have been far from the truth. He tended to lose track of time when he was distracted by something important. His body ached from numerous small wounds and he was tired enough that it wouldn't be long before he started making mistakes. From there things would only get worse. But he was close, he could feel it.<p>

With a quick blast he forced the door open and there she was; hanging suspended just as he remembered. She was looking down and hadn't seen him enter, but her guards had and they raced to respond. He cut them down ruthlessly, unwilling to give up now.

As the last one fell he dashed across the room to reach her. "Juno!"

She looked up, her blue eyes widening in surprise. "What? Galen, is that really you?"

"It's alright. I'm getting you out of here." He said, trying to be reassuring.

"Behind you!"

He turned, ducking instinctively out of the way. Another purge trooper, he'd let himself get distracted and hadn't sensed this one's approach. Annoyed that he hadn't anticipated the attack, Galen broke away from his efforts to reach Juno to face this newest adversary. This one wasn't any worse than the others, but every second it took him to finish it off was time for more enemies to converge on his location. He could hold his own for a time, but eventually they would be buried in numbers if he didn't do something soon.

He had an idea forming, but it might not work. Not that they had anything to lose by trying.

When the last of them fell he ran back to Juno. Taking the bare second he needed to focus, he ripped her bindings from the wall, catching her before she hit the durasteel deck. She didn't look like she was hurt, but if this was anything like the first time she wouldn't be up to walking -let alone running- just yet.

That was one problem taken care of. Now he just had to get them out of here.

She clung to him in stunned disbelief. "I thought you were dead!"

Knocking aside anything that stood in his way, he picked her up and took off running. "It's a long story, and none of it matters right now. We need to get out of here."

"How? We don't have anywhere to go."

"I'm still working on that part." Galen admitted. He kept running. Maybe if he could put enough distance between them and their pursuers they would have a better chance.

He kept moving until he found an empty stretch of corridor where they could stop for a moment. He set Juno down and fortunately she seemed to be able to stand on her own. He leaned back against the bulkhead trying to catch his breath. Something was wrong, it wasn't normal for him to tire this fast. Not that there was anything even remotely normal about their current circumstances. Still, while is exhaustion was disconcerting, it wasn't anything that he couldn't ignore for the moment at least.

Juno looked back the way they had come."I've had nightmares about this place before. This is the first time where anything good actually happened here."

This being something made out of her thoughts -or maybe even nightmares- may not have made much sense, but it was the closest thing to a logical explanation for what was happening that Galen could come up with. It was weird, but strangely the idea made him feel a little better. He hadn't been sure if his idea would work, but whatever this was there was no reason he could think of for why they couldn't escape their current situation.

"There isn't time to explain, but I need you to just trust me for a moment." Hopefully he could talk her through it well enough to make this work."Think of somewhere safe. Someplace you know well. There isn't time to go over the details, but if this works we can get out of here."

"Alright. Is that all?" She sounded skeptical.

Galen took her hand, hoping to reassure her."No, but I'll take care of the rest."

He waited a moment until he was sure she had something in mind and then reached as lightly as he could towards her thoughts. Fortunately, it seemed to work. Carefully as he could he began to put his own strength behind the image, giving it enough power and permanence to override their current situation. The dull, distant ache from before returned even stronger. Every bit of himself felt as if it was on fire, but slowly everything shifted and he sensed they were no longer standing in a dark narrow side corridor.

Galen made himself open his eyes and look around, ignoring the lingering discomfort as he had been trained to do. As expected, the place they had retreated to wasn't anywhere from his memory. They were standing in the middle of a clearing in a forest that seemed to be primarily formed from bamboo. The sun was setting, casting long shadows as the dim twilight encroached.

It was actually rather...nice here.

Still, the exhaustion he had been pushing back and ignoring finally won over as his knees gave out. The only reason he didn't fall on his face was because Juno moved to catch him. As it was, his weight still bore her to the ground and they both ended up sitting in the soft grass.

"Are you alright?" She asked worriedly.

He recognized the after affects of having pushed himself too hard. His head pounded, his joints ached, everything felt too bright and painfully loud. He wanted nothing more than to curl up in a ball and sleep until it passed, but he had plenty of experience with ignoring his limits, and pushing past exhaustion and pain until he finished what needed to be done was almost second nature to him by now.

"Just...tired." She didn't need to know how badly he hurt. Seeking to change the subject he asked: "Where are we?"

"Corulag, the world I grew up on. I haven't been back since I was a teenager, but I used to play in this forest when I was a little girl. I always felt safe there. But it can't be real, none of this can. You're dead." She let out a small, desperate sound. "Why am I even talking to you? You aren't real. You can't be."

Galen didn't have any idea how to explain what he had done. He wasn't even sure how he had done it, really. This was most certainly not what he had in mind when he planned on trying to find her. Maybe it was better to keep quiet and let her think whatever she wanted about this, about him.

The silence stretched out between them. It was a relief when she finally broke it. "I don't care if this is real or not. I've missed you so much."

Those words nearly broke his composure. "I..." He took a deep breath to steady himself. "I miss you too."

"I know this couldn't possibly be real, but I don't want you to leave."

"I wish more than anything that I could stay...Ugh..." A sudden flare of renewed pain tore through him, cutting off what he had been about to say. He clutched at his head and tried to will it away.

"Galen? Galen! What is it? Please, no, I can't lose you. Not again."

Eventually it faded enough that he could speak. "I'm okay," he gasped. "but it's not easy to stay here. I'll hold out for as long as I can, but I have no idea how long that will be."

"Being here hurts you?" She asked worriedly, taking in his pained look.

"Not as much as leaving you again will."

Without another word she pulled him close and just held him for a long moment. Galen didn't like other people touching him, but Juno wasn't like 'other people'. He trusted her more than anyone else he had ever met. For her he could tolerate it. With her he could almost relax enough to enjoy it. After a moment he rested his head against her shoulder, wishing that he didn't have to leave her again so soon.

"I'm sorry." She said suddenly.

He pulled back to get a better look at her. "What for?"

"For leaving you behind."

He hadn't expected that. "Juno, what happened to me wasn't your fault. I chose to stay behind and I knew what would happen. I regret a lot of things, but that one of them. Your safe escape was worth the price."

"I know. I know there was nothing I could have done to save you, but that doesn't make me feel any better."

Even if she didn't believe he was really there he couldn't just let her keep thinking that. "Look, where do you think I would be if I hadn't met you? I would have died a lot sooner and I would never have known what it was like to be treated like a person and not just a disposable tool. I never would have known what it was like to care about other people." He grabbed her shoulders, making sure he had her attention. "I don't blame you for anything."

Her expression softened, but whatever she had been about to say was drowned out by another bright burst of pain. He fought the tide of agony threatening to drown him. He couldn't move, couldn't think. It took every ounce of self control he had not to scream. The only reason he didn't is that it might upset her.

After what felt like an eternity it passed. When he came back to himself he was laying down, his head resting on her lap. To his surprise he was gripping her hand tightly enough to bruise.

"Sorry." He gasped, relaxing his grip so that he wasn't hurting her any more.

She didn't release him in turn. "If it's that bad then maybe you should go." She whispered softly. "I can't bear to see you suffering like this."

"It's nothing. I've been through much worse." To distract her he asked the first thing he could think of; "How have you been?"

Juno considered his question carefully. It was a rather obvious distraction, but she knew Galen well enough to tell that trying to get anything more out of him wasn't going to work.

"Lonely." She said finally. "I try to keep busy. I work a lot because it's better than wasting time thinking about what might have been and never will be."

"I'm so sorry. I never wanted to leave you like that, but-"

She cut him off quickly. Obviously not wanting to hear it. "I know, Galen. I don't like it, but I know it was the only way. I understand why you did what you did."

"Was it worth it?"

She smiled, but the expression didn't quite reach her eyes."I hope so. We have so much left to do, but you gave them hope, a future."

He noticed she didn't include herself in that statement. "What about you, Juno? What did I leave you?"

"More than I ever could have hoped for, but less than I wanted."

Now that was hard to take. He had hoped she would be okay. It would have hurt to see her going on without him, but it was a thousand times worse to see her so unhappy. He loved her, but had never dared to wonder if she had returned the sentiment. Until this moment he had never truly understood how much she had cared about him. Galen had never admitted it to anyone -barely even himself- but she deserved to know how he felt.

Before he could speak, he felt another wave of pain building, and tried to resist it with all his strength. Unfortunately his strength was waning rapidly. There would be no holding on after this. Still, there was one last thing he needed to say before the tenuous connection between them was broken. There was no guarantee this would ever happen again so he had to make it count.

"Juno, I-"

Before he could finish what he was going to say she leaned in suddenly, her soft lips meeting his for just a moment before everything -her included- faded away. Leaving him alone as the final spike of agony obliterated everything.

* * *

><p><strong>Thanks for reading! <strong>

**Please leave a review. Constructive criticism is always welcome. Love it or hate it, I would like to know what you think. **


	4. Chapter 4

**Thank you to everyone who read, reviewed, and/or added this story to their favorites. And an extra special thank you to MarshMella for taking the time to beta this. Her help has made this story so much better. **

**Chapter 4**

* * *

><p>Juno awoke with a start; her heart pounding like she had just run a marathon. Her quarters were silent, but for the sound of her ragged breathing.<p>

Already, the details of the dream were fading, but it had been about Galen, she was sure of that much. That in itself was not an uncommon occurrence. She dreamed of him quiet often; an experience she half longed for and half dreaded. Seeing him again was nice, but inevitably he would be ripped away from her again and again.

This latest one had been no exception, but up until that point it had been...different.

She turned onto her side, trying to calm down enough to go back to sleep. When that didn't seem to work she decided to get up early anyway. The chronometer said it was still another two hours until her usual time to rise, but it was unlikely she would be getting any more sleep that night.

With her mind still occupied by the clinging remnants of that strange dream, she went through her morning routine on autopilot. She was no stranger to bad dreams, but even her worst nightmares weren't usually so vivid.

He had felt so real, for just a moment she had almost believed it had really been him there in her arms and not just a figment of her lonely, grieving imagination. It was a shame she couldn't recall more. He had been hurt, maybe? Well, something had been wrong, anyway. There was a ship and, later, a forest. Had they been running away from something as well? There had definitely been a part where he had wanted to tell her something, but she hadn't heard what it was. The harder she tried to piece it together the less sense it made.

Juno glanced at her reflection in the mirror, taking in the dark circles under her eyes and her sleep tousled hair. She couldn't keep this up. She was running herself ragged obsessing over things that couldn't be changed.

Irritably, she flexed her left hand. For some reason it felt stiff and sore. Maybe she had bumped it against something or inadvertently put her weight on it as she slept? Fortunately, it didn't seem to be too bad, just a faint lingering soreness that wouldn't interfere with piloting overmuch. Brushing all that aside she finished dressing and left her quarters.

A short time later she threw together a quick breakfast as she half listened to the local holo-feed. Between all the propaganda, and advertizements for local goods and services there was little of note to take her mind off things.

It had been one month today since she had lost him. Maybe that was what had her so shaken up. Or maybe it was just the isolation and need for caution that was finally getting to her.

Lately it seemed like she was always on the move. Never stopping anywhere longer than necessary. A few hours to refuel and resupply and then it was off again, hopping to some random destination before she attracted any unwanted notice. She hardly even spoke to anyone more than absolutely necessary.

In truth, it wasn't much different than the routine she had established with Galen. It just felt harder because she was doing it alone now. She could have had PROXY with her, but his graphical glitches were getting worse and worse. The last thing she wanted was for him to malfunction in the middle of a crowd or -worse yet- while helping pilot the ship. Until she could do something about the problem it was best for both of them if he stayed powered down.

The other thing contributing to her unease was having to admit to failure in her ongoing search for clues to Galen's past. She had dug up a few more pieces. A few unsolved assassinations and other mysterious incidents resulting in large scale destruction with no witnesses left to tell the tale. Nothing she could conclusively link to the former apprentice, but it fit with how he had operated. Fast, efficient, and leaving nothing but ruin in his wake. Odds were that there was nothing more to find.

As far as the universe at large was concerned he had never existed at all.

Shifting focus to his parents hadn't yielded much fruit either. Most of the information pertaining to their lives would have been purged or restricted. All she had found of them was a single holo-image of each on the list of confirmed kills. And given how much slicing into various databases it had taken she'd been lucky to find even that much.

Any doubt she'd had about Kento Marek being Galen's father was gone the moment she had opened the file. It was almost like seeing a ghost. The same dark brown eyes and strong features, he couldn't have been much older than Galen when the holo had been taken. There were a few differences, but not many. His hair was a lighter shade and much longer than Galen had kept his. The man in the holo-image also seemed far more at ease with himself than his son had ever been, but the resemblance was unmistakable.

There wasn't much more in the profile of the woman suspected to be his mother. Mallie Nion, the file listed her as. An unimposing woman of a little over average height and a slender build, she didn't look like the trained warrior she would have been. Other than the dark hair and pale skin there wasn't nearly as much of a resemblance between her and her son. Still, Juno saw an echo of Galen's tightly coiled intensity reflected in the dead woman's steady gray eyes. Appearances aside, Mallie hadn't been some fragile flower.

It wasn't much. Nothing of their history. She didn't know if they had ever formalized their union or what had brought them together in the middle of a war like that. Odds were she never would, but it was still something.

It was still more than Galen had ever known. That he never would seemed the worst part of it all.

As if on cue the comm unit beeped, pulling her out of her thoughts. Eager for any sort of distraction she went to answer the call.

She had docked at some out of the way space station to wait for Kota as he had instructed. Fortunately, the traffic was heavy enough that she wouldn't stand out. And best of all, due to it's remote location the station had relatively little Imperial presence.

What did he want with her anyway? She had spent the last few weeks laying low as per his instructions. Until two days ago when she had received and encrypted message from him with nothing but the coordinates and day he wanted to meet.

Settling herself in the pilot's seat she took a quick second to compose herself before she answered.

"It's me." Kota said without preamble. He never was much for unnecessary words.

"Good to hear from you, sir." She replied.

"Likewise. I'm almost at your location. Thought I would give you a heads up."

"See you soon then."

With that, he disconnected.

For a time she sat where she was and mulled over the brief conversation. Was it finally time to do something? That would be a relief. She knew that the others were busily working in the month since everything had been set in motion and she was sick of being on the fringes of the movement. There had been far too much time to sit and think about all the things it would be far better for her to let go of.

Unwilling to wait aboard the ship she went out to meet the General. Any excuse to get away from her persistent memories and worries, if only for a moment.

A short time later Kota arrived in the battered, old freighter he had booked passage on. She almost didn't recognize him as he was attired in casual clothes rather than his usual distinctive armor. From a distance he could pass as just another spacer between jobs on this dingy, crowded station. Apparently, she wasn't the only one trying to keep a low profile.

He nodded to her in acknowledgment before gesturing her away from the crowded docking bay.

"Interesting wardrobe choice," she remarked as they turned and started walking.

"Those of us who don't have a ship outfitted with a cloaking device have to improvise," he replied. "Speaking of which; do you mind if we go back to your ship? Some things are best discussed privately. You never know when someone might be listening in."

So there was something going on. "Fine with me." Cautiously, she lowered her voice. "Has that been a problem lately?"

"Not yet, but I didn't live this long without acquiring a healthy dose of paranoia."

True enough. She kept quiet for the rest of the walk.

He followed her through the crowd with ease, unhindered by his damaged eyes. She wasn't entirely sure how it worked or how much he 'saw', but most people would never notice he was effectively blind.

When they reached the ship she chose the small common area where food was prepared and eaten as the best place to talk. True, the cockpit was a little more business like, but that just stirred up more memories of all the times she and Galen had planned out missions and discussed strategy there.

"What would you say to one last mission?" He asked once they had settled in.

She'd been hoping for that. "I would say: what do you have in mind?"

"I have some contacts with the local resistance movement on Malastare. We might be able to bring them in to the alliance."

"And you need me to fly you there without attracting any unwanted attention?" She guessed.

"Partly, but I also need someone trustworthy on the ground to help me. There are some places I can't go without attracting attention. You, however, can."

"Technically, I'm still a wanted criminal too." It didn't bother her as much as it once did, but it was still odd to think of herself that way. In her old life she had always been one for following the rules, but that -like a lot of other things- had fallen by the wayside after she and Galen had gone on the run.

He nodded in acknowledgment. "Yes, but you are still far less well known than I am."

"True, but I don't know how much help I'll be. This isn't my area of expertise." There were all kinds of reasons to refuse. First and foremost she was a pilot, she had never trained for infiltration.

"It's nothing too risky." he reassured her. " All you would have to do is deliver a message. Even secure transmissions can be intercepted-."

"-So can couriers, but they are much less likely to be noticed," she finished, catching on to the idea. True there was risk, but no more than any other assignment would carry. And less than some she had been involved in at other times. Still, there were other considerations. "Why me? Surely there are other, better qualified people available for this."

"Our resources are stretched thin. And as I said before, I know you can be trusted."

That was strangely gratifying. Juno hadn't been sure that anyone would ever put any trust in her again. Considering her past history she couldn't blame them.

"Alright," she said. "I accept. When do you want to leave?"

Kota's reply was instantaneous. "How soon can you be ready?"

That was easy enough. "I can get the pre-flight systems check done in fifteen minutes and we can be underway within an hour."

"An hour then. I have a few arrangements to make before we leave." With that he turned away and left her alone to prepare.

It was quiet again after he left. Juno had never minded silence. It wasn't anything unusual aboard the ship. There would be long stretches of time when the only sounds to be heard were those made by the ship's instruments and herself. Galen had been able to go for days without saying a word and could move in total silence when he chose to.

Silence was nothing new, but this was more than silent. It was empty, which was why she needed to do this. Hanging onto the past wouldn't make things better, but carrying on the fight he had started might give her some solace.

Shaking herself out of her negative thoughts she rose to her feet and turned towards the cockpit. If she was going to get the ship ready as quickly as she had promised she needed to start now.

She could do this one last time. It wouldn't be the same, nothing ever would be, but she was up for one last mission before she closed the door on that part of her life for good. After that she need never return.

She didn't know if she welcomed the possibility.

* * *

><p>Pain. That was what came back to Galen first. An unrelenting, all encompassing agony that drowned out everything else. He drew in a ragged breath, instinctively trying to steady himself. There were plenty of techniques to block out pain, but he couldn't quite focus properly to make any of them work. Even thinking was almost too much effort. So he stayed where he was, waiting to see what would happen.<p>

Gradually the rest of his senses returned, first among them hearing.

"Galen? Galen!" Someone called out. It seemed to come from so far away.

He ignored the distant voice. Wanting nothing more than to slip back into the blank, unfeeling darkness, but that didn't seem to be happening.

"Can you hear me?"

There it was again. After a second that was just a little too long he realized the question was directed at him and the questioner wouldn't be going away until they got an answer.

With a soft groan of pain he managed to open his eyes, only to close them again immediately. The normally dim lighting in his chamber seemed impossibly bright.

He tried again, letting his eyes adjust. Leaning over him with mirrored looks of concern were his parents.

"I...I hear you." Talking hurt as much as everything else. He closed his eyes again and waited for them to go away, but apparently they had other plans.

"Good." Kento sounded relieved. "Do you think you can you move? We can't just leave you on the floor like this."

Determined to get them to leave as soon as possible, he complied. His limbs responded sluggishly, but they moved. Normally he would just draw on the Force to keep himself going past all normal limits of endurance, but even that was tapped out, drained down to nothing. He froze as that realization brought a flicker of fear - though he automatically crushed the feeling down. He couldn't let himself appear vulnerable. Showing weakness of any sort meant you were as good as dead.

Admittedly, that was something of a moot point now.

After a few seconds he was back in control of his emotions and ready to try again. The movement made his head swim and his vision began to fade out at the edges. Still, he managed to sit up about half way before his strength failed him, but instead of falling back to the floor a pair of hands caught and steadied him.

Reacting instinctively, he pulled away. The sudden spike of adrenalin the unexpected contact brought startled him back to full awareness and gave him the strength to escape the grip; scrabbling backward to put some distance between himself and them. It hurt something awful, but that didn't matter when all he wanted was to get away. All his effort to stay calm and in control of himself suddenly seemed very far away and vastly inadequate.

_Can't let them see. Can't show weakness. Not ever. Need to get away. _His thoughts chased each other around and around in panicked circles until his shoulders hit the far wall of the chamber a few seconds later. That served to clear his head a little, disgust and shame replacing fear. Galen realized he was trembling from a mix of pain, and weariness. And worse yet, he couldn't quite get a hold of himself long enough to make it stop.

"It's alright. I know you're frightened, but it's okay. You're safe here." Kento spoke in the sort of tone one used for frightened children and animals.

Galen wasn't even sure if the words were real or just a distant, long lost memory. He had a brief flash of someone saying much the same thing to him long ago when he had been very small. They has tried to protect him back then, but ultimately failed. Why should he believe it now?

Another, more recent, flash of memory came to him, drowning out all else.

"_We're going through the same thing. We can help each other."_

_He looked away, not wanting to meet her eyes. "Nobody can help me."_

"_I don't think you really mean that. I just think you're afraid to let me try."_

He pushed that aside, struggling to stay focused on his current predicament. Allowing himself to slip into visions and memories like that was a dangerous distraction. Still, Juno had been right about him then and it applied more than ever now. In the past keeping others at a distance had been his best -and at times his only- defense, but now his stubborn refusal to accept help just might be a liability.

He had never felt so totally drained, emotionally and physically. The short burst of strength being startled fully awake had give him was wearing off, leaving him feeling, if anything, even worse. His vision was blurred and his head pounded with an almost nauseating intensity. Even fear had burned itself out, leaving him feeling hollow and empty inside. He leaned back against the wall, eyes half closed, watching them warily as he struggled to stay conscious.

Now, the only option he had left was to do something extremely difficult for him: put a little faith in other people and accept their help. After all, if they wanted to hurt him there had been ample opportunity to do so. Right now he was totally out of options and couldn't find the strength to care.

"Galen?"

He felt himself slipping away again, falling to one side. But yet again a pair of hands caught him. This time when they tried to help he didn't struggle. He closed his eyes and gave in, letting exhaustion claim him.

* * *

><p>They had been traveling for nearly an hour before Kota finally broke the heavy silence hanging over them.<p>

"Last I heard, you were doing a little investigating. Did you find anything more about the boy?"

Surprised that he had spoken Juno looked up from the instrument panel she had been examining. "Not much. Some confirmation on his parent's names and that's about it."

"Who were they?"

"Kento Marek and Mallie Nion. Did you know them?"

He considered the question carefully. "Not well. Mostly just by reputation."

When he said nothing more she turned back to the display panel and waited. Juno wanted to push the subject and try to get more out of him, but she kept silent. If he was going to tell her anything there would be no rushing it.

A few moments later he continued. "A lot of other people considered Kento to be bit of a risk taker. Always wanting to go somewhere interesting or find a new challenge to face, but he was reliable and dedicated."

_A bit like Galen, _she thought to herself. "And Mallie?"

"Her I knew even less about. She was a quiet one. Not shy or anything like that. Just didn't have much to say unless it was important. She had a way of just fading into the background. The sort of person who quietly dug in and got the job done, even when no one was around to notice."

"Anything else you can think of?" Juno didn't want to pester him for details, but who knew when she would get another chance like this?

"Well, it was no secret that the two of them had become friends at some point, but long before they left the Order there were rumors that their relationship skirted the edges of propriety. Not that I ever paid much attention to that sort of thing. I mostly kept to myself."

Did he regret not getting to know the beings he had served alongside better, or was he glad not to have more personal connections to have lost when everything had fallen apart?

As much as she would have liked to have asked, she didn't. "Thank you for telling me."

It didn't seem right to poke and prod at old wounds any more than she already had.

"Sorry there isn't more." He truly did sound regretful.

There was a long pause before she could put the vast ache she felt just thinking of Galen into words.

"It's better than nothing. What bothers me most is that Galen never got to learn this himself. He told me once that he didn't remember ever having any family. It's stupid to dwell on things like this, but..." Juno looked away, willing herself not to cry. There had been enough of that on her part as it was.

The old man patted her on the shoulder awkwardly. "But it still bothers you anyway. Look, Juno, there's no shame in missing him. It's natural to grieve. Just remember it isn't the end. Not for all the living who have to carry on. And not for those who have left us."

"Do you really believe that?" She wasn't sure if she did.

"If I didn't would I have survived this long?"

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><p><strong>Thanks for reading!<strong>

**Kudos to anyone who got the reference with Mallie's maiden name :)**


	5. Chapter 5

**Hi. I know it's been forever since I updated but I'm still around. Writer's block and some health issues got in my way. I don't know if any one still cares after all this time, but here it is.**

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><p><em>There was nothing.<br>_

_Oh sure, on some level he was aware, but being 'aware' was such a subjective term. Truly, __there was nothing to be aware of.__  
><em>

_No thought. No sensation.  
><em>

_Nothing.  
><em>

_It wasn't bad. It wasn't anything. And there was no way of knowing how long it had lasted and when - or if - it would ever end.  
><em>

_Then, without any warning, __it all changed. Suddenly, there were things to see and feel. The 'Nothing' had become 'Something'...__  
><em>

_...Something he didn't like. Too many things were rushing in to fill the void he'd never known existed. A tangled mess of images and sounds crashed over him. No frame of reference, no context, it was all too much. He would scream if he knew how.  
><em>

_Trapped. Dark. Wet. Cold. Glass. Meaningless words that some distant part of his mind supplied.  
><em>

_Not right.  
><em>

_Hands that he had never seen before, but were somehow his, scrabbled futilely against the glass, and he felt as if he were drowning. An odd disconnected part of his mind noted that they seemed subtly wrong. The fingers just a little too long and the joints ever so slightly malformed. They didn't move as smoothly as they should have. The rest of his body felt similarly strange. Not right.  
><em>

Nononoletmeoutletmeoutpleaseno.

_He didn't understand the words his mind babbled frantically. There was no frame of reference, nothing to tell him what he experienced. If he had mind enough to ponder the state of his existence he would want to go back to how it was before. Back to the blank, neutral half awareness that had been his whole world for what felt like forever.  
><em>

_Beneath that overwhelming fear something else was building in response to his terror. It felt unbelievably vast, and yet his connection to it was so tenuous and fragile. In a blind panic he reached out to it, and it answered his call. It lent strength to his ungainly body and with a sudden burst of Force-fueled strength he broke the tank, spilling on to the floor amid broken glass and the fluid that had held him.  
><em>

_Disoriented, he coughed, instinctively trying to clear his lungs. When he tried to move it was to find his strange limbs uncooperative, leaving him with no choice but to lay on the floor, shivering weakly in the chill air. Some of the glass shards has cut into his flesh, his blood __mixing with the mysterious tank fluid seeping across the floor._

"_Why is the subject conscious?" A deep voice intoned harshly. "I did not order its activation." The words were as strange and unfamiliar as everything else, but they still sent a strange shudder through him. He knew that voice. And with a bone deep certainty he hated and feared its owner._

"_I don't know, my Lord." Another voice spoke, this one filled with fear. The man from the tank didn't have the strength to look up and put an identity to the second voice, but he knew without looking that he hadn't met its owner. "Perhaps a malfunction in the-" His words cut off with a gurgle.  
><em>

"_I have no interest in excuses, only results. Find the problem and fix it."_

"_Yes, my Lord." The fearful voice said with a cough. "What shall I do with this one?"_

_For a long moment there was no answer, just the harsh, mechanical sound of artificial lungs.  
><em>

"_Dispose of it. I have no use for failures."  
><em>

"_I shall see to it at once."  
><em>

_The dark lord didn't design to answer, merely sweeping away without another word.  
><em>

_The man from the tank tried once more to rise, unsuccessfully. Amongst all the confusion he knew one thing: he had to get away. He didn't want to die._

_Meanwhile, the remaining voice was giving orders. "You two! Kill the specimen and take it to the dissection room. I want to know what went wrong this time."_

_He didn't need to look up to know what was happening now. His ears and new thoughts told him well enough. With a rattle of plastoid the two troopers that the voice had addressed stepped forward, readying their weapons as they did. Without a moment's hesitation they took aim-  
><em>

_-and fired._

Galen opened his eyes with a ragged gasp. With an effort he silenced the scream building in his throat and lay there panting as he struggled desperately to regain some control over himself.

_Not real_, he tried to tell himself. Not real, but still horrible.

For a moment he didn't know or care where he was. The strong, unreasoning sense of terror gripping him made it almost impossible to think. He curled up on his side, eyes shut, still breathing hard. After a long moment instinct took over. He forced himself to take slow, deep breaths and he worked to order his thoughts.

_Fear has its place. It can make you stronger if it doesn't consume you. It only has power over you if you allow it to._

One of his earliest lessons. Not one of the ones he had been formally taught. No, it was the grim realization he had come to when his younger self had made the decision to live, rather than give up and die. While he didn't want to go back down the path of relying on fear and anger to fuel his power, the words still had some relevance. His life may have been over, but he was still far from ready to give up on it.

Eventually the sense of mindless panic eased, and hard on the heels of it came disgust and shame. This wasn't something he could ever afford to give into.

He sat up, trying to focus on more immediate concerns. He was on the narrow bunk that folded out of the far wall in his chamber, just where his parents has left him. Nothing else seemed out of order at least. Not that there was much to disturb in the sparse, mostly empty space.

The small comfort of knowing that his momentary weakness had gone unseen did nothing to improve the bleakness of his mood. How long it had been since his disastrous attempt to reach out to Juno, he wasn't sure, but the sense of failure still stung. Just a moment longer and he could have...

What? Told her how he felt?

It didn't matter. Whatever could have happened between them never would now. Maybe it was a mistake to try and get around that unavoidable fact. And then there was everything that had followed his painful return to what passed for reality these days.

During his restless sleep he had slipped in and out of uneasy visions and nightmares. Truth be told, there wasn't much difference between that two. With the exception of that last vivid nightmare, most he couldn't recall very well, and what little he did remember wasn't very clear. There was no telling which -if any- were real warnings of things to come, and which were just his own fears and uncertainties getting the better of him.

_Stupid to let it bother me. _

He was, after all, no stranger to bad dreams. In his old life he had wondered why he was so haunted by them. It was beneath a servant of the dark side to be so affected by something so unimportant. He had tried so hard to be rid of them and to ignore what couldn't be suppressed.

In hindsight it was a wonder that he wasn't worse off after an upbringing like that.

He buried his face in his hands and tried to focus. All these irrelevant musing were getting him nowhere. Better to just fall back on what he knew. Take stock of the situation and plan from there.

First things first, he felt better than he had before. Still a little tired and definitely embarrassed with himself, but better. He could think clearly again at least.

Galen was also surprised -albeit relieved- to find himself alone. At the moment, his parent's well meaning, but bothersome, attention would be more than he could tolerate. And they would want to know what had happened, he was sure of that. They had been reasonable and hadn't pushed him for information before, had even respected that he wanted to be left alone to recover, but he was sure that would change. They wouldn't just ignore this most recent event.

As much part of him might wish otherwise, he couldn't hide in here forever. Besides, they would eventually realize he was awake, assuming they hadn't already noticed. Better to make the first move than to be caught off guard.

Since there was nothing to be gained by sitting around and feeling sorry for himself he got up and headed for the door before his doubts had another chance to get in the way.

The hallway was quiet, but he could hear raised voices coming from the main room. Curious, he crept closer using every trick he knew to avoid detection. Up close, he could hear the heat of anger in the words.

"-No, you haven't. Why have you been keeping your distance from him? You were the first to notice anything was amiss, but when we found him like that you didn't say a word." It was Kento.

There was something odd about that and it took Galen a moment to realize why. He had never heard the older man raise his voice before.

"I don't even know what to say to him," Mallie replied, sounding equally irritated.

"We both know that's not it. Even before all this you were avoiding him. You would rather disappear for days on end than spend time with the son you haven't seen in nearly fifteen years!"

There was the sound like someone pacing restlessly.

"I still sense that darkness in him. I know he's turned away from that path, but I can still feel coiled up inside him, and that worries me." Mallie admitted after a long pause. "But I know that's the last thing he needs to hear right now, so-"

"So you think avoiding him is going to be any better?"

"I know damn well that's it's not!" she snapped at him, although she immediately seemed to regret lashing out. "I just...I don't know anymore. I hate not knowing what to do."

There was another few steps and a rustle of cloth.

"Neither do I, but maybe spending some time with him might be a good start."

It was silent then, and Galen wondered if they were now aware of his presence. Unsure of how angry they would be about catching him eavesdropping, he stepped out into view before they could confront him about it.

They were standing close together. Not quite an embrace, but she was leaning against his shoulder and Kento's hand rested lightly on her back.

It was Mallie that noticed him first. "Ah, Galen, we didn't know you were up yet. How are you feeling?" she asked with an almost surprisingly level tone, taking a half step away from Kento.

If he hadn't heard it himself it would be hard to believe that they had been arguing just moments before.

"Fine, I guess," he replied, taking the obvious attempt to change topics and divert attention from what he had just heard. Galen could have called them out on it, but that likely would have been a waste of time. Not to mention that it was a subject he wasn't in a hurry to discuss, himself.

"Do you realize how worried we've been?" Kento cut in. "What happened anyway?" he continued without waiting for an answer. "We found you in there-"

He shied away from the memory, not even listening to the rest of what his father had to say. Being caught in such a situation was more than just an embarrassment, it was an unacceptable failing on his part. He'd been lucky that things weren't much worse.

"- but honestly I'm just glad you are alright. We were starting to get worried."

With an effort he pushed away that grim mood and turned his attention back to what was going on.

"What happened?"

Mallie frowned. "We aren't entirely sure, but you drained yourself somehow. Can you tell us what you doing?"

He let out a sigh. There was no getting out of this. He could lie, but that didn't seem right. Better to tell the truth, or at least part of it. "There's...a friend of mine whose safety I was concerned about. I was meditating, trying to see what had become of them..."

He explained the rest quickly and without drama, using the same flat, detached tone he would use for reporting in after a mission. No personal opinions or emotions behind to his words. Just facts. The only details he kept out was the nature of his relationship with Juno and their kiss at the end. As far as he was concerned that was no one's business but his own.

Spoken aloud his explanation sounded insane to him, but they didn't show any signs of disbelief. In fact, they seemed to be considering his words carefully, only asking for a little clarification here and there.

"Are you sure?"

"Not really, but do you have a better explanation?"

They exchanged a quick glance before Kento answered. "No, I believe you. But if that _is_ what you did, then it was very dangerous. Reaching out to the living only works under a few very specific circumstances."

"You did it when I saw you before."

"That was different. You are force-sensitive and I reached out to you in a time and place where you were willing to listen. I take it that whomever you reached out to does not meet those qualifications?"

"Uh, no," Galen replied, bracing for the worst.

"That's what makes the difference. You have a natural ability to perceive such things. Your friend does not. And when it didn't work you forced the connection anyway. Which is why it took such a toll on you to bridge the gap. I can think of only a few beings strong enough to have successfully done what you just did. Although, I doubt any of them would be crazy enough to try."

For a moment Galen paused, uncertain what was going to happen next. If there was going to be some punishment then he wouldn't run from it.

Kento sighed, suddenly seeming much older. "Just please be more careful. It's still possible to get hurt here and I don't want anything bad to happen to you."

For a moment Galen was at a loss for words. He had done something they disapproved of. Under his old life he would have been lucky if the only thing such disobedience earned him was a few fresh bruises. But neither Kento nor Mallie made any attempt to lash out at him. They didn't even seem all that angry, just worried.

He was still a little stunned by this turn of events when Mallie suddenly spoke up. "There is something else. You also had a visitor while you were still…recovering."

"Who?" he asked, his short-lived sense of relief fading. The list of people who would want to see him was short and consisted of no one he would want to encounter here.

"A Togruta. She didn't give her name. All she said was that she had heard you were here and would like to speak with you."

A cold dread settled over him. He had only met one Togruta face to face, and if she wanted to see him it couldn't be good.

"What did you tell her?"

"That you were unwell, but we would pass along her message. Do you know her?" Mallie asked curiously.

"We met once. It didn't go well." _Not for her anyway._

Fortunately, she seemed to sense his unease and didn't push for details. "I see. If you like I can send word that you aren't interested."

"No... I'll do it." Ever since his arrival he had suspected that there might be consequences for all he had done. He'd given his life trying to put things right, but one life didn't balance out the countless others ended or irrevocably altered by his actions. "When does she want to meet?"

"Any time you like," Mallie answered. "She said that you could find her in the nearest city and that a public location might be best."

"There are cities here?" It shouldn't have surprised him, but somehow it did. During all his time here he had yet to venture beyond the clearing. Which now that he thought about it, might have contributed to his unease. He never had coped well with having nothing to do. It made him restless. And that made him more willing to take risks.

"Yes, there are. Living or dead it's in most beings natures to congregate. Safety in numbers."

Something about that comment bothered him, but he ignored that for the moment. "Can one of you show me the way?"

"I can," Mallie volunteered. "We could leave as soon as you're feeling up to it."

He nodded in agreement, not trusting himself to speak. He wasn't exactly afraid, but it wasn't something he looked forward to. Still, he knew with a grim certainty that this was something he had to face.

Galen was so wrapped up in these thoughts that it wasn't until much later that he realized just what had bothered him about Mallie's offhand comment.

What was out there that people were gathering together to avoid?

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><p><strong>Thanks for reading. As always concrit is totally welcome.<strong>


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